I recently overheard a conversation between two coworkers discussing another coworker who recently quit his job.
The three of us were working together at a job site, and we began talking about difficult clients and people we worked with. We laughed and joked, even bringing up a particularly unpleasant client. One of the guys mentioned that he didn’t understand why everyone found this guy’s wife attractive, as she looked like a typical Caucasian female. He mentioned he preferred women with a more exotic appearance.
Side note: He is also Caucasian.
Our conversation shifted to discussing who we found physically attractive. Then Kevin (fake name) shared that he didn’t think Tony’s (fake name) girlfriend, whom I considered attractive, was good-looking. He explained he had seen pictures of her on TikTok, shared by another coworker, and didn’t find her appealing. I told him I thought she was hot. He didn’t agree, and then we moved on from that topic.
Then Kevin, one of the coworkers, said he couldn’t comprehend why Tony was trying to join a band or become an artist. Michael (fake name), the other coworker, chimed in, agreeing and suggesting Tony needed to maintain a stable job to cover his bills and how he “Tony the guitarist/musician” was being extremely irresponsible and unrealistic. They shared a laugh. This caught my attention because Tony considered Michael a buddy.
The conversation continued, and Kevin remarked, “What does he think he’s doing? Trying to be in some boy group like Menudo or something?” Then Michael did a little dance mimicking Menudo or the type of dances they did when they were popular back in the day. They laughed again. Michael added, “I don’t get it either. It’s unrealistic, especially at his age. That’s something you pursue when you’re much younger.” Keep in mind, Tony is an accomplished guitarist and had recently turned 30 years of age. What struck me was that Tony (the guitarist/songwriter) always encouraged Michael to be more, suggesting he had creative talents and could try making food videos on the side.
Surprisingly, Kevin joined in, “Yeah, he’s not even that good,” referring to Tony. This shocked me, as I’ve been involved in the music industry for years and consider Tony one of the best unsigned guitarists and songwriters I’ve heard. Kevin also said, “Maybe he could do cover bands like my friend because he’s only decent at doing covers.” This was crazy to me because I witnessed Tony share his original music with Kevin, and Kevin told him he really liked it. Moreover, I admired Tony’s decision to leave a dead-end, low-paying job to follow his dreams, especially given his lack of responsibilities (being single with no children).
The coworkers continued mocking Tony for pursuing his dreams, calling him unrealistic and untalented. It’s worth noting that these two men were married, with their wives being the breadwinners in their households, and had never held careers requiring much intelligence. Their work ethic was poor, showing up infrequently and doing the least possible. Yet, they were belittling Tony for striving for more.
This experience taught me the importance of avoiding individuals who lack aspirations. It’s unwise to share your dreams with them, as they have none of their own. Their advice about your dreams is irrelevant, as countless individuals have achieved their goals. If everyone ignored their dreams, we’d all be stuck in menial, dead-end jobs.
Remember, it’s crucial to surround yourself with people who support and uplift you, especially when it comes to your aspirations.