Writing my book hasn’t been easy. Sometimes I didn’t even know why I was doing it. I felt like I was doing it for the children – especially the little girls that might be going through what I went through. Maybe it was for the women who had been through what I had been through. One thing I was sure of was that I didn’t want to leave out the men or little boys – too often men and little boys were left out and when they were left out, we all suffered.
I often thought to myself, “Why didn’t anyone have the intelligence to put it all together”? We could put a man on the moon, destroy entire nations and speak to dolphins, but still couldn’t figure out that we were all connected and that everything that affects one of us affects us all.
Was I wrong? Why did a half-breed, high school drop out, ex-rapper/stripper, who grew up in the ghetto manage to figure this out or why did she care? Could it be that everyone else was aware of what was going on but simply did not care. Are we all helpless or selfish? Was I some type of freak for believing that there was more to life than being born, working, marrying, having children, retiring and then dying? Could our lives and existence be this cut and dried?
Perhaps when I finish my book I will have some understanding of why things are the way they are and I will be able to relax mentally and enjoy at least some of my physical existence. Better yet, perhaps I will be able to bring about a better understanding of our spiritual connectedness and how all of our actions affect one another. I’m not even sure if I know where to begin. But I do know that without trying there will never be change.