The Prize She Won

About three years ago I was in Orlando trying to escape my ex when I sat at my computer and opened an email from my exes new, much younger wife.  She was just 19 years of age at the time and he was 15 years her senior.  In the email she was cursing me out, referring to me as a whore and bitch and saying how I was old and washed up and how I was angry because my ex (we will call him Monster) didn’t want me anymore.

After years of physical and emotional abuse from Monster, I had finally convinced him to stop playing with my emotions after tearing his apartment to shreds one morning about a year before this day.  He loved seeing me squirm and he loved playing with my emotions.  At the time, I didn’t have the emotional strength or self-esteem to resist his advances, so I figured if I did something harsh enough, he might decide I wasn’t the person to drag through his emotional mud anymore.

Monster informed me a few months before I moved to Orlando, that he wasn’t going to help me financially with our daughter any longer because he didn’t feel that he needed to help me anymore and suggested that I take him to court. I never actually wanted to take him to court because I felt like we should be able to work out our situations without involving strangers. Had I known then what I know now, we would have been in court a thousand times.  Actually had I known what I know now, he would probably be serving a life sentence for physical abuse.

Right before he decided to give me the “I don’t feel like I need to help you anymore call”, we had an altercation at my daughter’s soccer game.  Against my wishes he brought his new-found girlfriend to my daughter’s soccer game and I went ballistic.  He decided cutting off child support would be my punishment.  I asked him not to bring his girlfriend because I still thought he was with the last girlfriend when I found out about this one, and I didn’t want his girlfriend of the week participating in my child’s events.  I never brought any of the guys I dated or went out with to any of her events, so why should he?  Perhaps I was wrong.  And in some strange but sick way, I still had feelings for him.

It’s weird.  You would think that after 5 years of physical, emotional abuse and cheating I would hate him, but I didn’t.

When he told me he wasn’t going to help me out with our daughter’s finances any longer, a whole course of events followed.  My place of employment was shutting down, my sister managed to get us kicked out of my apartment and I had had enough of Miami.  I promptly told Monster to kiss my ass,  cram his money up his ass and then planned my escape.

Needless to say, Orlando is the worst place in the world to live.  But that’s a whole other story.  Teeny Bopper (his new girlfriend) felt sorry for Monster and thought that I was being cruel to him.  She sent me email after email condemning me for taking away his daughter.  She told me what a whore and dirty bitch I was.  She just couldn’t imagine why someone could do such a thing to poor, helpless Monster.  Monster’s illustrious family even told her what a psychotic bitch I was.  They all said I was “psycho”.  I guess I’m not the only one who gives people names to fit their personalities.

Just 10 months later I moved back to Miami!  Thank God!  Things were hard, but I knew I could make a way, somehow.  In less than two months after my return, I received a subpoena to go to court.  Monster was requesting full custody of our daughter.  He was taking me to court. He tried to subpoena me in Orlando, but couldn’t figure out where I was.  I always vowed never to take his daughter from him, but I just needed to get away.  I really needed a break.  It seemed like his goal was to torment me in some way, form or fashion.  I knew I was going to move back to Miami, I just didn’t know it would be in less than a year.

Although I knew what was coming and I wanted my little girl to be able to see her father, I was scared to death when I opened up the subpoena.  I don’t know why I was scared but I was.  I had no record and he was a convicted felon.  I was still scared.  He had raped and beat up a former girlfriend before me and paid $50,000 for a top lawyer and got away with just 5 years probation when he was facing 30 years.  They had all the evidence, but it didn’t matter.  His lawyer was an ex-judge in the same precinct where the case was tried.

My dumb ass sat in court with him convinced by the story he told me when we met.   After he started beating the crap outta me I read her deposition and I realized the truth.  Only a person who has felt his wrath could describe things she described so intricately!  Every psychopath has their method.

I still had a couple of months before court which made it even more unbearable.  Every day, I thought about court and possibly losing my daughter.  I couldn’t afford a lawyer and legal aid wouldn’t help.  They actually made me feel like I was a criminal.

One night before court Teeny Bopper came by the strip club I was working at as a door person and slashed my tire and keyed my car.  There were about 30 people standing outside the club when she did it.  They watched her do it and then came inside to tell me that I should probably go look at my car.

She continued with the insulting and harassing emails after that.  Telling me over and over again how I was just mad that Monster didn’t want me anymore and that she was about to have his baby.  I also forgot to mention, Teeny Bopper and Monster got married about six months into their relationship while I was still in Orlando. Some days I thought to myself, “well, that’s just about the time when he started beating the shit out of me”.  Other days I thought, “well maybe he’s changed and since he married her and brought her this huge ring and a brand new expensive car and she’s much younger, perhaps he will treat her better”.  I have to admit, some days I was even jealous.  I wondered why he didn’t treat me as good.  They seemed to have such a great relationship.

The day arrived and we went to court.  I gathered up every piece of email, evidence, phone record and everything I could in my favor.  I was so nervous and scared at the same time.  I was alone.  When I walked into the courtroom they both glared at me as if I were some vile piece of shit.  I tried my best not to appear nervous or scared.

Teeny Bopper and Monster were dressed in their best clothes and perfectly groomed.  I did the best I could with what I had.  I looked over at the two of them, noticing how they both had such an air of confidence.  I could feel the pleasure in their gestures towards each other.

Monster started off with lies as usual.  He said he paid for the car I was driving -  I purchased my Mazda with money that my mother left me when she died.  Then he said that I never contacted him and that I kidnapped his daughter.  I thought this was amusing, especially since his previous conviction was based on kidnapping charges.  He had no idea, how prepared I was.  I produced the phone records and showed them where I kept trying to reach him but he kept hanging up the phone in my face.  The really weird thing is that I only found that one phone record out of an entire 8 months worth of phone records.  In addition, this particular record was found by mistake a few days before court while I was looking for something else.

All it took was that one incident to flare up Monster’s uncontrollable temper and he began talking out of turn.  When the judge asked him to calm down, he became his usual disrespectful self.  The judge then rescheduled the hearing for another date.  Monster stormed out of the courtroom, slammed the swinging door (as much as you can slam a swinging door) and left his wife sitting there.  As he walked out, he looked back at her and angrily said, “I’m outta here”.  She quickly ran after him.  I left and heard him screaming obscenities at me on the way towards the elevator, right there in the public office.

Our next court date was scheduled about a month from the first one and even though things seemed to be working in my favor, I was still nervous.  My little girl was my sunshine and my world.  She was the only person I knew who had ever showed me love and never betrayed me.  I could never bear losing her.

My then boyfriend, Fresh-Out (fresh out of jail that is), kept telling me that he had a feeling everything was going to be alright and that I had nothing to worry about. We had been dating for only a few months then, but he seemed to know I was going to be alright.

As the days grew closer, I became more and more nervous.  I took my little girl over to his mother’s house so that she was able to see Monster.  I never actually wanted to separate the two of them.  I just couldn’t deal with his mental torment any longer.  I had to escape.

The night before the court date, I got a call from Teeny Bopper at about 11pm.  I didn’t answer at first because I was busy spending time with Fresh-Out.  Fresh-Out asked me who was calling me at that time of night.  He was always insinuating that I was cheating.  I told him it was Teeny Bopper and he said, “Maybe you should call her back, it might be important”.  Initially I decided not to call her back, but then I thought about it again and decided I should call her.

I called her back.  When she answered the phone she sounded really stressed out.  She said, “Angela, I just wanted to let you know that Monster isn’t going to make it to court tomorrow” “he just beat me up and the cops took him to jail”.  I didn’t know whether to be happy or sad.  So many things ran through my head.  I was happy I wasn’t going to have to face him in court the next morning.  I also knew that another domestic violence charge would play in my favor as it pertained to the custody of my daughter.  I hated Teeny Bopper just a little for harassing me and keying my car and sending all the hateful emails.  But something inside of me felt sad and sorry.  Even though I hated the way she dealt with our situation, I still felt like no woman, no matter who she is, should have to deal with abuse.

I was quickly taken to a place where I once was when he beat me up.  It all flashed back into my head.  I told her, “I’m sorry to hear about what you had to go through, if you need anything, let me know”.  She sounded very surprised and said ok.  We hung up the phone.  I still went to court that day.  Monster never made it out in time.  Court was rescheduled for about another month from that date.  This all happened during the summer of 2007.

The next court date came.  I showed up to court again, but Monster never showed.  The judge dismissed the entire case. I couldn’t believe this idiot subpoenaed me to go to court, acted an ass on the first court date, beat up his wife the day before the second court date, and then just didn’t show up at all for the third court date.

With this all blown over, I made arrangements with Teeny Bopper to pick up my daughter so that she could spend every other weekend with Monster because this is what my daughter wanted.  Ironically, I found that Teeny Bopper actually had much more sense and class than Monster.

My daughter really liked her and she seemed to be really good with my daughter.  There were even times when we would hold short conversations.  She began to see who I really was and who he really was and became confused.  A few times, we ended up having the “damn men” discussion and laughing at it together.  Teeny Bopper had a lot of problems with Monster’s family.  I remembered how they used to gang up on me when we were a couple.

One weekend when Teeny Bopper was bringing my daughter back to my house from spending the weekend with them, she said she wanted to talk to me about something – she wanted my opinion.  I told her sure, I would be glad to talk to her.  When she showed up, I invited her in my house.  I had never invited her in before.  I asked her to have a seat, but she didn’t want to sit.  She looked very worried.  I asked her, “what’s wrong with you” She looked like she was about to start crying and then she said, “I think he’s cheating on me”.  “I’m not sure, but I think he’s cheating on me.” Then she asked me, “What should I do”?  I told her not to panic and not to discuss the situation with his family because it could be used against her as it was used against me when I was in the same position.  I also told her not to assume anything and to find out for sure before approaching him.  I also told her to hire a private investigator.

A few months later, she called me to tell me that he had beat her up and fractured her ribs while her mother and little boy were but a few feet away.   I couldn’t believe her mother allowed it to happen.  I couldn’t believe he spent no more than a few hours in a holding cell, again!

I asked her how it all happened.  She told me they got into an argument and he ended up throwing a plate at her and then pushed her into something.  I can’t remember what.  Her mother got on the phone and called 911.  Monster said that if he was going to jail then Teeny Bopper was going with him.  He took his nails and dug them into his arms to make it look like self-defense.  Then he ran outside when the cops came.  I knew this tactic all too well, because I had experienced it myself.

They (Teeny Bopper and Monster) both ended up being hauled off to jail.  Teeny Bopper was taken to the hospital before being taken to jail.  All charges were dropped once again.

Tears came to my eyes.  I could feel her pain because I had once been there myself.  She asked me if I was crying.  I told her yes.  I interrupted her and told her that no person deserved to go through what she was going through.  There was a moment of silence then she said, “I know”.  I sat there on the phone shaking my head and wondering if anyone was ever going to put a stop to his actions or if he was going to wind up killing someone first.

Although I was glad I wasn’t his victim anymore, I wasn’t happy that he found himself a new one.

This was “The Prize She Won”…….

the story continues in my forthcoming autobiography “Baloney Sandwiches”